What To Do When You Become Your Friends Boss

What To Do When You Become Your Friends Boss When youre stepping into aledershiprole for the first time, theres certainly a lot to think about. Youve probably wondered ifpeople will consider you experienced enough. Or maybe youve thought about how the shift in responsibility will affect your relationships at home.Butmany new managers have a worry thats seldom addressed, even though its widespread how to navigatecommunication with peers and friends.What should you do when people who have always been your equals are now reporting to you?This transition can be awkward and anxiety-provoking to say the least, yet typical advice for new managers tends to gloss over how to manage the feelings associated with this change.Here are some practical tips to help you successfully ease the stress, lead with confidence and keep your relationships intact even as they evolve and change.1. Address the awkwardness directly.If you have employees who used to be your peers,the worst thingyou can do is ass ume the elephant in the room will disappear. Its far more likely the uncomfortable situation will only fester and get worse.While you may assume youre the only one who feels awkward, the truth is your friends are probably feeling uneasy, too. Because theyre your subordinates, though, its even more likely theyll be hesitant to broach the touchy subject. Theyll look to you, their new leader, to make the first move andaddress the issue head on.When you talk with your employees, clearly state the obvious. You could say something along the lines of, Since Ive become your supervisor, our relationship has changed, and I know things can feel a little awkward at times. However you motto it, dont put this conversation off.Also recognize its okay if you dont have all the answers. Feel free to say something like, Have you felt a shift, too? From your perspective, whats changed? Then be honest that youre not entirely clear onhow your friendship will play outwith this new dynamic. Its important t o be truthful. Its okay to be vulnerable.2. Put some extra thought into tasks you assign your friends.In so many of lifes situations, friends help each other outand of course its considered a good thing They also cut each other slack when needed and step up to make each others lives easier during the tough times. These hallmarks of friendship are normally so welcome in our lives, but these dynamics simply dont belong in your working relationships.Maybe youll give your friend extra work because you assume hell want to help you out during a busy season in the office. Or youll want to do a friend a favor and assign her less-involved tasks. Neither of these scenarios is professional behavior for a manager, even if youre falling into these habits without realizing it.To guard against these patterns from creeping into your management style,ask yourself some ofthese key questionswhen youre assigning responsibilitiesAm I relying on my friend to understand how stressed I am right now? Am I h oping shell bail me out?Do I expect more from my friend because I know him personally?If I didnt have a personal history with this person would I be handling this differently?These questions and their honest answers can guide you back to the right path. As difficult as it can be sometimes, you should be treating all of your supervisees as uniformly as possible. No matter how well-intended, there shouldnt be anyunderlying personal motivesfor assigning a project to any of your employees.3.Get comfortable with emotions.As counter-intuitive as it sounds, anytime youre leading withintegrity and dedicationto your organization, others might respond with strong (sometimes negative) emotions. Colleagues, especially former peers, may become angry, resentful or passive-aggressive in response to decisions youve made. You may find strong emotions cropping up within yourself, as well.You should always respond to others with compassion and support, but with the proper boundaries in place, youll le arn that other peoples reactions actually arent yours to worry about. This might be a radical new way of thinking for you, but it will serve you well.Accept that maybe youll always be perceived as favoring a certain employee. Perhaps some of your coworkers think you should go a little easier on them because they were so recently your peers. If you lead with integrity, however, you can rest assured that youre leading in the way thats best for your organization.4. Reach out to your new peer group.It can be easy to forget youve just gained abrand-newpeer group Why not embrace them? Invite one of them for lunch or coffee. Seek out mentors and ask them to share wisdom about the inner workings of your new department. This new leadership role is likely challenging for you in many ways. Looking to more experienced colleagues for pointers can only help.For now, all new managers are unaccustomed to leadership roles and feel the pressure of changing workplace dynamics. Its completely normal to feel uneasy. But there are graceful and professional ways to navigate these transitions that will serve you well in every stage of your career.--Melody Wildingis a coach and licensed social worker who helpsambitiousexecutives and entrepenerusmaster the psychology of success. Her clients include managers at top companies like Google and HP, media personalities, and startup founders. She also teaches Human Behavior at Hunter College in NYC. Learn more about working with Melody and grab a free course on Overcoming Imposter Syndrome atmelodywilding.com.